Remember ladies, pinkies up!

cockenblog:

So here we have Justin Timberlake making his directorial debut. Let me first submit that the phrase “In the first place, gentlemen, you are to consider” is possibly the most forced and awkward opening line of a liquor commercial ever.

Secondly, can someone please explain to me the metaphor of cakes and empires both “being easily diminished at the edges.” Is this baking advice or frosting advice? .. because you sure as shit don’t eat a cake by nibbling at the edges. (You eat it by cutting over-sized slices with the most icing flowers.)

And what does ANY of that have to do with hitting third base with a bossy half-naked woman who’s wandering aimlessly around your apartment, pouring tequila over plastic ice cubes. Justin, are you saying cakes are like cooters? Cooters are like empires? Empires are easier to defend if you’re ripping tequila shots?

I think Caroline has summed it up best so far, “JT knows nothing about cake or vaginas….therefore I can’t trust his tequila recommendation.”